Shared parenting for parents living apart


Jim Siemens

Certified Family Law Specialist


The opinion of Robert E. Emery, PhD, on the benefits of shared parenting is consistent with the perspective I have heard expressed by psychologists in North Carolina educating the Judges we appear in front of. These paragraphs in his recent New York Times article are particularly significant:

“Today, close to half of first marriages end in divorce. About 40 percent of children are born outside of marriage. Custody is routinely shared by parents living apart. Many states have dropped the term ‘custody’ altogether for more family-friendly terms. You no longer win or lose custody. You develop a parenting plan.

Psychologists and decades of research support this shift. Cooperative parenting benefits children, whether parents live together or apart. Just ask any kid whose divorced parents are at war, ‘What are three wishes for your family?’ You can bet that one will be a version of ‘I wish my parents would stop putting me in the middle.”

We see that shared parenting and parenting plans are favored by the Buncombe County Family Court. There are exceptions to that trend, and we can help you evaluate whether your situation might be exceptional.

Read the full New York Times article, “How Divorced Parents Lost Their Rights”: